*Once again, Blogger hates me so the spacing is all weird and not even directly altering the HTML will fix it. Sorry kids. I'm sure it bothers me more than anyone, being as I really appreciate aesthetic beauty and am anal and hate it when things are asymmetrical. Such is life. Hope you enjoy the post and can get over it better than I can!
I sat down with my Bible this morning intending to spend awhile reading through multiple Psalms.
God, thankfully, had other plans. I was rendered completely useless (aka unable to move on) after reading Psalm 73. I've oft heard verse 25&26, which I'll address a bit later, spoken of never took the time to read the entirety of the Psalm and I'm overflowing with thoughts about it.
I'm going to paste the entirety of the Psalm (28 verses) and then include thoughts regarding various verses and sections. It's good stuff! Don't glaze over it, as I am so apt to do when people post large chunks of scripture (I'm convicted about this and actively working on it, praying that God would give me a love for His word so consuming that I can't help but stop everything and meditate on Him when I read / hear His word).
Hope this is encouraging!
Psalm 73
* [ text ] - my insertions
73:1 Truly God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
Starts off giving praise and glory to God, as the preponderance of the Psalms do. God is good to us, loves us, looks out for us.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
my steps had nearly slipped.
I love the imagery here... I can completely relate to feeling like I'm walking with God and suddenly I lose my footing and know I'm in danger of totally biting it.
3 For I was envious of the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
And now it jumps into the stuff that I had no idea about- the message of this Psalm is, essentially, about walking with God, surrendered to Him, and seeing the seeming prosperity of "the wicked"- how they seem to not have to worry about things like money and they have whatever they want and don't seem to mind oppressing people to get it, nor do they seem to pay any consequences for their wickedness. Totally puts the end of the Psalm into much better context.
4 For they have no pangs until death;
their bodies are fat and sleek.
5 They are not in trouble as others are;
they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
violence covers them as a garment.
7 Their eyes swell out through fatness;
their hearts overflow with follies.
8 They scoff and speak with malice;
loftily they threaten oppression.
9 They set their mouths against the heavens,
and their tongue struts through the earth.
10 Therefore his people turn back to them,
and find no fault in them.
11 And they say, “How can God know?
Is there knowledge in the Most High?”
12 Behold, these are the wicked;
always at ease, they increase in riches.
13 All in vain have I kept my heart clean
and washed my hands in innocence.
I totally understand feeling this way. I have, many a time, looked at people my age and envied what they have that I want but don't have. I've found myself envying the mid-twenties girl with the cute body and equally cute husband as they grocery shop without worrying about prices or calories and then drive away in their late-model nice car. I wonder why I can't have this. I have frequently wished I could be like celebrities who have more money than I could dream of spending, who can afford to have lots of babies and then spend their time going overseas and helping impoverished nations build infrastructure and programs to serve the poorest people of the world. I have definitely seen bitterness in my heart when my husband, during his full-time pool cleaning gig, would tell me stories about super rich women berating him and treating him like trash just because he was the lowly pool man. I've had moments of weak faith where the idea of giving up on pursuing Christ and just doing like the world- pursuing money and a career and status and worth via approval of others- struck me as just about the most appealing idea ever.
Needless to say, I completely identify with this. I'm not in that place now, but I've been there and I'd be foolish to think I could never be there again.
14 For all the day long I have been stricken
and rebuked every morning.
15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
I would have betrayed the generation of your children.
16 But when I thought how to understand this,
it seemed to me a wearisome task,
17 until I went into the sanctuary of God;
then I discerned their end.
18 Truly you set them in slippery places;
you make them fall to ruin.
19 How they are destroyed in a moment,
swept away utterly by terrors!
20 Like a dream when one awakes,
O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
I could not get over this section- I kept reading it again and again. To envy those who are perishing, who don't have access to the well of Life, the living water that quenches the thirst for the hollow offerings of this world, is beyond futile. Even when it seems as though they are at an advantage, and that what I have is second-tier, it strikes me deep in my heart when I read: "How they are destroyed... swept away... like a dream when one awakes."
I think specifically here of evil people, doing things like making money off of drunken and vulnerable college age girls who show their breasts in an attempt to find love. I think of the behind-the-scenes people in the kiddie porn industry, people filling their pockets at the expense of children and appealing to the most vile and repulsive impulses of sexually sickened men (and women). Pimps come to mind, as do those making billions of dollars a year in the sex slave industry- people think it's in the third world, or "those other countries", but it's thriving here in modern day America and it's disgusting.
These people, the ones oppressing innocence and abusing freedom in order to feed their sinful materialism, full of the money I at times envy (understand: I only ever envy financial independence, not the horrible things they do to get it), they don't get away with anything. God despises their sin, and while if they are elect they can know Jesus and be forgiven of all of their sin, the wicked will be so utterly destroyed by God that the memory of them will be like waking from a dream. I do this, wake from a deep sleep and for a second the lines between reality and my dream state blur, but then suddenly the fog lifts and I am able to clearly discern what is real and what was only a dream, that which never actually happened. Interesting to know that this is the fate of many who continually defy God.
21 When my soul was embittered,
when I was pricked in heart,
22 I was brutish and ignorant;
I was like a beast toward you.
These were two more verses I meditated on. I identify with them so deeply that it breaks my heart. I love the imagery, though- pricked in heart. I envision a heart so bitter that it's covered with the "pricklies" of a porcupine or cactus. Any attempt to comfort it leads to painfully punishing the Comforter.
With that, I am blown away by verse 22- brutish and ignorant... like a beast toward you. Here I see a big, angry bull, like the Spanish running of the bulls, and it's in the corner, eyes ablaze, pawing the ground in rage. The Comforter, again, stands with open arms seeking to soothe but the beast, in lack of understanding- ignorant- feels threatened and rages against the very One coming to save it from the crowds who long only to chase it down and stab it to death.
I am so often this way. My great and loving God stands before me, hands seeking to comfort and soothe and bring me back into camp, the place of blessing and safety, and in my rebellion I rage against Him, brutish and ignorant... like a beast. Convicting, this is, so very convicting. Truthfully, with the work God has done recently, this absolutely breaks my heart.
23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Absolutely beautiful. I know it says "
I am continually with You" but if you know anything about the character of God this is best understood as "You are continually with me regardless of what I do to try and prevent that from happening" and it's breathtaking to really ponder what this means... even more so, God guides me with His counsel, and He will receive me to His glory. The
sermon this last week was about the glory of God and I love it when God continues the press the point regarding a theme He's working into the fabric of my life.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength [rock] of my heart and my portion forever.
I just have to stop here: these are the two verses oft quoted from this Psalm, and one church I was in heavily emphasized the "portion" aspect, focusing on an inheritance of future ruling and reigning with Christ. While theologically true that the faithful Christians will one day rule and reign with Christ in His kingdom, I always found myself dwelling on this part. Dwelling is the wrong word... honestly, I found myself hung up on it. This idea that I fail and sin but that one day God will reward me was an unhealthy motivator.
I read this with completely fresh eyes this morning- it's not about the end, or God as a means to an end. It's about God as the means and the end. I long to be able to say, with my whole heart, "there is nothing on earth I desire besides You" to God. I'm moving closer to there, but things still get in the way. I love the lines about God being my rock even when I fail, though; not as means to something "better" but as my once, current, and forever everything.
27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
28 But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works
Once again, the glory of God astounds me. As we've studied
I Peter in our
Community Group we've really chewed upon the fact that our lives are meant for God's glory- from how He blesses us to the trials we endure, all of it is meant to both bring us closer to God and to point others to Him. Those who run from God- that is, everyone who is not elect- will perish. But it's "
good [for me] to be near God", for Him to be
"my refuge", and this is so that others can see Him.
I hope that by opening up about how our great God spoke to me this morning you are able to see Him and are encouraged to turn to Him and bask in His glory for the sake of knowing Him and so that others may know Him as well.